Letting Go

 

Letting Go

 

Have you ever wondered why you hold onto emotional and physical pain longer than needed?  There is a belief that we create and maintain problems to give us a sense of identity – to define who we are – to give us purpose.

 

Do you know of anyone who creates problems and then swoops in to save the day? Or someone who creates problems to then play the role of victim for sympathy and attention?

 

These behaviors, whether in ourselves or around us are due to the need to replay our past mistakes like a broken record in our minds which in turn builds feelings of shame and regret.  Carrying these burdens dictates the actions we take in the now.  In addition, we hold onto worry and frustration about the future creating unnecessary stress.  Stress has been linked to numerous health issues and the majority of us live with this fabricated stress every day treating is as our normal state.

 

We all know that if we put a little energy to something we get a little out… the same holds true for letting go.  By letting go just a little of your past and future regrets, you obtain a little peace in your life but if you let go of a lot, then you will bring in a lot of peace.  More peace equals less stress!  Isn’t that the formula we all desire?

 

Here is a sampling of actions you can take today to begin to let go of the pain and allow peace into your mind and body:

 

1. Meditation/Yoga

2. Physical Activity

3. Learn a new skill

4. List out your accomplishments and continue to add to the list daily

5. Focus your energy on that which you CAN control and not that which you CAN’T control

6. Engage in a creative project (painting, crafts, gardening, book club)

7. Write a letter to whomever you hold your anger for, then burn the letter

8. Take responsibility for you could have done better

9. Wear a rubber band on your wrist and pull it every time you begin to obsess on the angry thoughts

10. Have gratitude for the positive memories and know that life is a learning experience

11. Visualize how you were before the event and know that you now can be that again

12. Take deep breaths and focus on your breath when you feel angry

 

And lastly, fill a backpack with rocks representing your past hurts and take a hike.  When you are ready, remove one rock at a time, naming the rock with a specific memory or person or event that has brought you pain and release it.  You may find that you have packed more rocks than actual pains!

 

Letting go allows you to make space in your life for new and exciting adventures, experiences, loves, memories.  Letting go brings you inner peace and reduces stress.  Letting go allows you to view the world with new eyes ready to create, build and live that life you have always dreamt about.

 

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Importance of Belief

 

It is essential to have an attitude of believing the best in others; understanding this concept can have its challenges.

 

The self-fulfilling prophecy refers to the idea that when someone creates a belief in something that is not yet true, and expects something with certainty, it will become true.  With people, it suggests that as we communicate our expectations, they will conform and deliver the appropriate results.

 

When working with people, this is critical.  When you express a lack of confidence in someone, it is returned with mediocrity, however if you believe in them and expect them to do well, research has shown that they will live up to that expectation.

 

What we expect, all too often, is exactly what we get.

 

The four key principles of the self-fulfilling prophecy:

 

·  We form certain expectations, or beliefs, of people or events based on our own perceptions and experiences

·  We communicate those expectations through our behaviors in a way that we would not have done without the belief

·  People generally respond by adjusting their behavior to match

·  The result is that the original expectation becomes reality

 

Based on these principles, we can conclude that the expectations leaders place on their team determines the quality of the teams’ output. A study of 100 self-made millionaires has shown that the most common characteristic in the group was the desire and ability to see the good in others. They were people builders, not critics. They empowered and supported their team to be their very best through positive means. 

 

Believing the best in people is a critical piece of building successful viable relationships.

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LAW OF PROSPERITY

 

Law of Prosperity

 

Spirit never expresses itself other than pure perfection, therefore, whatever imperfections do exist are always the result of our individual or collective thoughts.  Because this is true, it is not necessary that you hold onto anything for fear of losing it.  In fact, you will never truly enjoy anything you must hold onto because freedom in all areas of your life is absolutely essential for you to grow into the truly great human being that you are able to become.

 

These obstructions that we harbor are doubt, guilt, resentment, and thoughts of lack or limitation. Including any negative ideas which have a tendency to block the flow of creative energy to and through you.

 

When we hold onto these obstructions, we are unable to make room for the image which we are trying to create. We must resolve to letting go of all of these obstructions so that we can make space in our lives for the good that we desire.

 

Make room for the new you that you are creating and for that which you desire. Allowing your mind to fill with things that you have no use for stalls your ability to achieve that which you want. Let go. Make space for all the good that is awaiting you. 

 

Make room for new clothes - for the new you that you are creating.  Make room for that which you desire.  Not only do I encourage you to physically clean out your closet, I have metaphorically shown you how our minds get cluttered with those things that we no longer have a use for.  It is time to clean house and let go.  You must continuously make space for the good that you desire - this is an exercise you will practice for the rest of your life. Let go of the old so you may make room for the new.

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 Imagination

 

Imagination is defined as the act of forming a mental picture of something that is not present to the sense or has never been completely perceived in reality.  Every thing around us started as an idea stemming from someone’s imagination.

 

Think about the computer, cell phone, bed, airplane, fork… no matter how insignificant or complex something may seem to you now, it started as an idea formed from an imagination. 

 

Imagination is what allows us to have plan Bs for survival.  We can imagine all sorts of scenarios and possibilities and then develop plans.  Through discovery, we get ideas no matter how fantasy or reality based they are.  Then through justification, we assemble objective evidence to formulate possibilities.  Therefore, imagination not only creates ideas but also justifies them to allow action to be taken.

 

Imagination contributes to knowledge growth through learning from mistakes.  When we make mistakes and take a moment to reflect on what happened, we then begin to imagine what could have happened if we had taken a different action. 

 

Imagination is what allows us to create a life we wish we had.  By exercising that magnificent mental muscle, we can change the outcome through our creative imagination by taking a moment and really imaging what it is we want – with clear details and practicing this everyday until what was once an idea becomes our reality.

 

Without imagination we wouldn’t have all of the things around us.  Take the light bulb; Thomas Edison worked diligently on perfecting a commercially manufacturedi light bulb.  He imagined that it was possible and eventually achieved success.  He has been quoted as saying “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”  What if he had not used his imagination and believed in the possibility?

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 Information

Information is crucial for everything. Can you think of an instance where you don’t need information?  It’s like going on a trip without a roadmap or through life without goals.  We need information to help us get from A to B and all points in between. 

 

With the Internet, we have information almost instantaneously with a push of a button.  Do a search on any topic and there is flood of websites to tell you all about whatever you are searching for.  Sometimes the search is spot on and other times it is completely off base but the beauty is you can search again and again refining until you get it right.

 

With that, why are so many people still ill informed?  There has never been a time like now with access to so much information through our phones, homes, cars, cafés, libraries… even restaurants give free access.  And yet you hear people say the craziest things and have outlandish opinions based on no facts you are aware of. 

 

This is partly due to the other form of information – the media.  The media has its own agenda and long gone are the days of unbiased news outlets.  But this isn’t about the media. It is about information and how to obtain useful information that is both accurate and proven to be true.

 

When it comes to personal development and growth, there are many people who claim to have the secrets to success.  And from appearances, they sure do look successful.  But their success may not equate to your definition of success so my advice to you is this:

 

Define what you think makes a person successful.  Not how to be successful.  Illustrate through words what a successful person is – from relationships to material goods.  However you define success.  And from that – match up those who claim success to see if they fit your description, which is based on your values and beliefs.  If they don’t, then pass on their advice.  If they do, then find out how you can work with them or someone associated with them to mentor you and help you to achieve success.

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Integrity

 Integrity

Integrity is based on what that one person perceives another with integrity really means.  Each of us has our own set of values and beliefs and therefore defining ones’ character as having or lacking integrity is subjective. 

 

With that said, however you define integrity, I believe we all can agree that determining ones’ having integrity relies mostly on them standing for something and then staying on purpose with whatever that something is.  When one sways from that purpose and behaves in a way that is no longer in alignment with what they previously stood for, they can become labeled as being out of integrity. 

 

Have you heard – Do as I say, not as I do?  Prime example of someone who does not stay on purpose with what they stand for and believe in.  If they did, then the saying would be do as I say and as I do.  If you are a parent, this is crucial.  Parents are modeling behavior for their children.  Actions speak louder than words.  Children pick up on those subtle behaviors and ignore lip service. 

 

The same holds true with adult relationships.  Work or personal, it doesn’t matter.  People are savvy and see right through smoke screens.  Some may not be sophisticated enough or have the confidence to call another on it but when people exhibit a lack of integrity, out goes the trust factor too.  You can’t trust someone who doesn’t do as they say.  What they are telling you is that they don’t believe their own advice either.

 

In the Personal Development industry, when you are seeking help from a coach or mentor, it is important to interview and get to know the person who will be advising and guiding you through a process. Ask questions about how this has helped them.  Find out what their values and beliefs are so you can match yourself with someone who has similar values and beliefs as you.

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 Inspiration

Where does your inspiration come from? Does it come from your family? Is it passed down generation to generation?  Is it your grade school teacher? Your big sister?  Your relationship with your creator? Where do you get your inspiration and how do you channel it?

 

We all hit a block at some point in life – sometimes more than we care to talk about and we need a little inspiration to relight our fire and let our creativity flow freely again.

 

This morning, do you remember waking up and what you did for that first hour?  Can you recount all the motions you went through?  If not, then you need some inspiration.  You need to mix up your routine and throw some spontaneity into your life.  Stop and smell the roses. 

 

The older we get, the busier our lives become and we take for granted all those little things that we were in such awe of as a child.  It’s time for a life reboot – to untether ourselves from our everyday doldrums and take a moment or two to see what we have been missing for a long time now.  It is time to get inspired!

 

1.   Have a plan – not a detailed plan – but something that you would like to stop and do for a moment that you have either wanted to do for a long time and couldn’t find the time or something that you used to do that you miss very much.  But not too planned – in the event while executing your plan you find yourself wanting to do something else, be flexible and go with the flow.

2.   Pay attention to your surroundings.  Smell the flowers, notice the older couple holding hands, see the children running through the park, smile at the dog with the pink studded collar… don’t follow the tour guide at the museum – be your own tour guide and spend longer at an exhibit really taking in the intricacies of the piece.

3.   Document your experience.  Bring your camera and whatever else you need to capture these moments.

4.   Bring a friend.  Take the time to explore somewhere with someone you care about and share this experience.  Create memories.

5.   Stay away from subways.  Sounds odd but if you are travelling underground how do you get to enjoy what is happening?  Walk if you can and then when you need to rest – find a place to sit and people watch.  Recharge your internal batteries and then go again.

 

Don’t look for inspiration.  That sounds funny but this is an exercise in creating inspiration through your environment and not by creating false inspiration through planned events.  Be free and enjoy what is already around you!

If that sounds like something you want to develop, let's connect!

Text : 604-614-7653

For FREE resources visit us at:

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